Wednesday, April 22, 2015

27 Things I've Learned So Far In Life ... The Final Post

This is a continuation from Part 1, and Part 2....

19. I want very much to correct the ignorance I see every day, but don't have the heart to be rude or corrective to people I don't know.
I know this sounds weird. I had to rewrite that sentence 6 times before I found the best wording. Basically, people I see every day in and out of my work, at the store, in  the car next to me, they are all a bunch of rude assholes. No, really. I know that I'm no means perfect in any way, but people today just don't give a flying fuck about what anyone else thinks. They are rude and want immediate gratification. Look lady, I'm sorry you waited until the day of an event to get a poster made, but yelling at me because there is a 6 hour turnaround isn't going to A) make me want to help you any more that I am, nor B) going to get your order expedited to the front of the queue. Instead what will come out is profuse apologies and the hope that maybe, maybe, I can sneak your order in somewhere. Yesterday I finally felt the first crack at my superb customer service, when this asshole decides to ring me and proceeds to try and skin me through the phone because one of my other coworkers misspoke about a service we offered. In front of my boss, I politely tried to tell him that if he continued to speak to me that way, I'd hang up until he can speak to me like a normal, respectful human being. Except that Asshole Jim (as I call him) wasn't letting me get this out as he was continuing to scream through the phone, so I said, loudly, cutting him off "Okay sir I'm hanging up now, please call back when you have learned to speak to me respectfully, and not a moment before it. And kindly learn how to treat others like a human and not some personal slave you think you own" and then I simply hung up on Screaming Asshole Jim. My boss was speachless, but didn't have anything to say as I was both polite and tolerant, without being superrude. Of course, Asshole Jim called back immediately, and my boss picked up the phone, waited a breath while I heard screaming, and then hung up on him again. Apparently, he didn't think we were serious. I thought it was hilarious. He didn't call back after that.
Look people, just because you have never worked in customer service/retail/food service, does not mean you have the right to treat others like shit. You need to learn that they are human beings too.. they make mistakes, and they can't produce miracles. If you want something, you have to wait in line like everyone else. Things take time, and cannot be made with magic.

20. There are no miracle cures, fast-fix diets or fitness trends, and I am going to have to work 6 times as hard to lose the weight as I did to put it on.
This is correct. I have to work six times as hard! Not twice, not three times.... SIX. Why? Because losing weight and getting healthy is not just one dimensional... it's a LIFE change and you need to be on board with ALL aspects. Your DIET needs to change, your FITNESS habits need to change (or START if you're a couch potato), your FRIENDSHIPS need to change (They need to be supportive of you, or you don't need them!), your FAMILY needs to change (I'm not suggesting a new family, just that they need to be supportive of you and not just accepting), your SLEEP needs to change (whether it be regulating your sleep cycle and setting bed times and wake times, or by getting medical help to make sure when you do sleep it's a restful sleep), and your ATTITUDE needs to change (turn the "I can't"s into "I will"s, and the impossibles into challenges!).

21. My gut is the best weapon I have.
It tells me when things are right, when things feel wrong (both biologically and also situationally), it tells me when I am speaking to a liar and when I can feel safe. It's very rarely wrong, and it serves me well in new situations. I trust it completely, and even in the times when it has been wrong, I have learned from it and gained understanding and insight.

22. I used to think all of my friends left me.... but now I realize that I am the one who isn't moving.
My best friends and close friends have drifted in and out of my life for a long time. I used to think it was them who had abandoned me. Take for example my high school BFF "M", who left for college to the middle of Florida, and then found the love of her life and now resides in the Midwest with her husband and the most adorable son of all time. I felt for a long time that if she were really my best friend, she would have stayed and suffered silently with me in SW Fla. Now, I realize, she did not leave me, she simply grew up and moved on. We still talk and text, and last year I flew out to surprise her at her baby shower. Those are not actions of someone who was left behind, those are actions of a high school BFF. I still love her as much now as I did then, and am so happy she found her place in life! Now... I just need to work on finding mine.

23. I am more transparent than I should be, and sometimes that bites back.
I tend to be honest. Brutally honest at times, but mostly because I just don't want to be caught in a lie, or have to explain myself for why I didn't tell the truth. Sometimes, that hurts me, as I am telling too much. Case and point, John says when I make a return at a store without a receipt, I tend to tell the story from start to finish how I lost said receipt... and while my reasoning is because I don't want them to think I stole the item, he says it makes me look more suspicious! So, I've been practicing the art of shutting the hell up and giving one word answers. It's been refreshing! Instead of giving the boss the story of why I was late a week back, I simply apologized for being late and moved on with my day. He didn't need to hear how I had come to be late (it was only about 20 minutes or so), and he didn't ask for a further explanation.

24. Don't be afraid to dance like no one is watching, and don't be ashamed if you look over and someone actually is watching.
I love to dance. Apparently, this is not a well known fact, as I have surprised a few people (like my mother) when I told her this. No, I'm no professional, I don't take lessons, and I don't go to a zumba class anymore, but when the mood strikes and the bump is right, I'll get down anywhere! I love to play the "latin workout" station on Pandora in my car, and find myself grooving on the go. Sometimes, the car next to me will see. I've seen reactions from smiling, to laughing, to them shouting out at me (but my music is so loud I don't hear what they say) and I keep dancing. Because it's an expression of who I am. I boogie for the world to see! And if that "Fat Girl Dancing" Whitney Thore hadn't stolen my shine first, I could have been the famous Fat Girl Dancer! :-P ((Seriously though, that No Body Shame campaign she has going is very inspirational!!))

25. You will only ever feel like shit if you let yourself feel like shit.
I have been called every name under the sun. From jokes about my very white skin, to my weight, even my freckles.. people love to cut others down to make themselves feel better. And sometimes even I judge people. But I have NEVER once said anything TO anyone. I make my jokes to myself, and then feel like a shitty person anyway. I'll never understand how bullies can do this and not OUTWARDLY show their self-loathing. Do these people just not have hearts? Or a conscience? I have decided that I need to take a stand and let no one make me feel bad about myself. If you don't like my ghost-white skin, well screw you too! I'm beautiful, and I'll never look like old leather because I don't even get tan, ever! Have fun with your skin cancer! :-P

26. Cheat days do not mean you are weak. Just because you are trying to get "healthy/skinny/fit/whatever you call it" does not mean you don't get to treat yourself.
Let's face it, we all have a weakness. Cereal is mine, but so are so many other things... like ice cream, and soda, and sugar, and white bread, and so on and so on! Basically, if it's bad for me, I have a secret love affair with it! But I'm also trying to get healthy. So do I stop eating these things? Everyone else would tell you YES.. but I said NO, with a "BUT" involved. No, you shouldn't stop eating those things.... BUT, you should monitor what you are putting in your mouth and know that the ice cream means more miles on the treadmill or more reps on leg day. Control your portion size and your frequency. Ice cream every day? Bad idea. Once a month? Maybe not enough.... so find a middle ground that doesn't sabotage your efforts, but doesn't leave you starving for your next fix.

And finally.... the 27th thing I've learned so far in life....

27. Birthdays are just days that celebrate your birth.
With my 28th birthday eight days away (HOLY COW!) I thought I was going to freak out. And I did. A little. It means I'm not a young kid anymore. I'm an adult... .with responsibilities and commitments. And a grown up job, and a grown up life. I'm no longer a girl in my 20's.... but a woman nearing her 30's. UGH.
So what's the big deal? I can't stop the aging process (no matter how hard I try), and these once-a-year freakouts just aren't worth it. So, I'm not making a big deal out of this.. I made this list to celebrate all that I have come to know in my lifetime, and celebrate the day my mom gave me a life of my own (quite literally!). Hopefully, no matter what your age in life, you, too can find the joy in growing old and do it with some grace... because it's going to happen whether or not you want it to anyway!!

Monday, April 13, 2015

27 Things I've Learned So Far In Life - Part 2

This is a continuation from the first post...

11. Cotton underwear is no fun to run in.
Maybe I need to consult some 5k forum boards, but I thought cotton would be ok to run in? It's not. I got chaffed, I got sore, and the place where my torso meets my legs were raw from the rubbing! Talk about a serious rug burn! So.... now I have to find new underwear to underWEAR! :)

12. Pounds may be very hard to lose, but confidence is very easy to gain.
One thing I hated about my old gym was that I felt stared at, judged, and bullied around despite no one actually ever talking to me. With my new gym, Planet Fitness, I don't feel like that at all. The staff are all super nice and actually know me by name, and on top of that I have even gone over to the cable machines and been greeted warmly when asking of a machine is free.
What I truly mean by this confidence thing, though, is that as I've worked out more, I saw differences in myself. Not just physically, but also mentally. I was holding my head higher, and I was owning the ground I walked on. I need to get back to that... because....

13. My mood is DIRECTLY correlated to how long it's been since my last workout.
Lately, I've been a real Debbie Downer and Susy Sucky-'tude. I'm pissy and all around depressed, especially after not getting that job that I felt so. damn. good. about. And no wonder.... I haven't been to the gym ONE TIME in the ENTIRE month of March!! April will be the redemption month. Not because I can feel it, or that I'm rededicated to my goals, but because I have no choice. Each day I stay the way I am, I lose minutes, hours, or even days of my life because of the fat. No more. No more excuses!

14. Much like a song in a movie can bring that scene to your memory long after you've watched it ("I've Had The Time of My Life", anyone??), I have songs in my life that I will hear and it brings me back to a specific moment in my life.
A few songs I can name that do that are, "Wreck of the Day" - Anna Nalick, "Unforgiven 2" - Metallica, "Walk" - Foo Fighters
These songs each bring me back in time to a point that may not even have been important (like a special event), but they are memories that have defined who I am today. They have shaped my life, my choices, and each time I hear this song, I go back to that moment and feel grateful that I am able to see what I saw once again. Do you have any songs like that?

15. "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it." - Spoken by Agent Kay in "Men in Black".
This is so true. That pack mentality can make or break a situation, and it seems that we are just sheep waiting for the next Fox News report to come out nay-saying against this or that. You make waves when you go against the grain, or try and make a change to better yourself. People are quick to judge and even quicker to forget about you. Not that I need someone as my audience, but as a person with a people-centric personality, I like a little recognition, and love to give it out. It's what makes me so good at what I do, and what will help me to succeed in anything I decide to do in life.

16. I find that I can blame my parents for some of my shortcomings as an adult.
My parents never really made me stick to anything. I tried gymnastics, but I quit. Tee-ball, but I got tired of playing with the boys (and I broke my ankle doing so). I got a keyboard for Christmas one year and quit when I found out I wasn't a natural virtuoso and struggled to learn to read music (I still can't). If my parents had made me stick to these things as a child... finish a season, or go through the motions of lessons, maybe I would have an easier time sticking to a gym routine. I find it's all too easy to say "Nah, I don't feel like going to the gym today." ... Because I don't feel like going to the gym EVER. I hate it. I hate getting sweaty and yucky, and I'm self conscious I'm going to be so smelly the stick figure on the treadmill next to me will smell me and gag and then everyone at the gym will point and laugh and make fun of the smelly fat girl (my imagination is pretty intense). But I force myself to go, when I can. March being the exception when life just got away from me... I am sticking to a routine this month and beyond if it has to kill me to do so.

17. I can also blame my parents for all of the wonderful things about me.
My parents were by no means the best parents ever. An alcoholic father, an unfaithful pill-addict mother, I wasn't exactly their focus in life. That being said, my father and mother both did the very best they could with what they had to give. It made me who I am. I learned how to be resourceful. I learned that I can do things on my own (many young adults don't go to movies by themselves or go exploring in new cities alone.... I do!) I watched how hard my parents did work to keep us kids happy and healthy and learned that my own happiness can and sometimes should come second to the happiness of my family in whole. Even the years we didn't have extra money, we still managed to have a family vacation in the summer and my parents sacrificed a lot to make it happen. I do that today. I will make little sacrifices and changes to keep my fur-kids in good health, or to make my husband happy, or to do something for someone else I love; sometimes it's at the inconvenience of me, sometimes I do it happily. My older brother was also a huge influence, and I can see it that he's grown up to be a wonderful person just like my father is. My older brother deserves so much more than he gives himself credit for, and I think sometimes he is afraid to shine in all areas in his life (because there are some areas he will flaunt those like a peacock!)

18. The older I get, the more afraid I become of dying.
It sounds silly. But the other day in the shower I nearly gave myself a panic attack because I thought about the future, and how some day I'm going to die. It's not so much the dying part that has me freaked.... It's the uncertainty about how and when and why I will die that has me afraid. The odds are not in my favor... I have a family history that's 10' long and full of nasty cancers and disease; I don't know if breast cancer will claim me or if I will have a stroke or if I will get hit by a car or die in a plane crash, and that scares the bejeezus out of me. It could be next week for all I know. And then my schooling will have been all for nothing. You see what I mean about it being so scary? I try not to think about it, of course.... I don't have control on the whats/wheres/whens/whys of life... I just have to make the best today I can and hope when I get to the Pearly Gates (whenever that is), that I get let on through.

To be continued yet again..... :)