Monday, April 13, 2015

27 Things I've Learned So Far In Life - Part 2

This is a continuation from the first post...

11. Cotton underwear is no fun to run in.
Maybe I need to consult some 5k forum boards, but I thought cotton would be ok to run in? It's not. I got chaffed, I got sore, and the place where my torso meets my legs were raw from the rubbing! Talk about a serious rug burn! So.... now I have to find new underwear to underWEAR! :)

12. Pounds may be very hard to lose, but confidence is very easy to gain.
One thing I hated about my old gym was that I felt stared at, judged, and bullied around despite no one actually ever talking to me. With my new gym, Planet Fitness, I don't feel like that at all. The staff are all super nice and actually know me by name, and on top of that I have even gone over to the cable machines and been greeted warmly when asking of a machine is free.
What I truly mean by this confidence thing, though, is that as I've worked out more, I saw differences in myself. Not just physically, but also mentally. I was holding my head higher, and I was owning the ground I walked on. I need to get back to that... because....

13. My mood is DIRECTLY correlated to how long it's been since my last workout.
Lately, I've been a real Debbie Downer and Susy Sucky-'tude. I'm pissy and all around depressed, especially after not getting that job that I felt so. damn. good. about. And no wonder.... I haven't been to the gym ONE TIME in the ENTIRE month of March!! April will be the redemption month. Not because I can feel it, or that I'm rededicated to my goals, but because I have no choice. Each day I stay the way I am, I lose minutes, hours, or even days of my life because of the fat. No more. No more excuses!

14. Much like a song in a movie can bring that scene to your memory long after you've watched it ("I've Had The Time of My Life", anyone??), I have songs in my life that I will hear and it brings me back to a specific moment in my life.
A few songs I can name that do that are, "Wreck of the Day" - Anna Nalick, "Unforgiven 2" - Metallica, "Walk" - Foo Fighters
These songs each bring me back in time to a point that may not even have been important (like a special event), but they are memories that have defined who I am today. They have shaped my life, my choices, and each time I hear this song, I go back to that moment and feel grateful that I am able to see what I saw once again. Do you have any songs like that?

15. "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it." - Spoken by Agent Kay in "Men in Black".
This is so true. That pack mentality can make or break a situation, and it seems that we are just sheep waiting for the next Fox News report to come out nay-saying against this or that. You make waves when you go against the grain, or try and make a change to better yourself. People are quick to judge and even quicker to forget about you. Not that I need someone as my audience, but as a person with a people-centric personality, I like a little recognition, and love to give it out. It's what makes me so good at what I do, and what will help me to succeed in anything I decide to do in life.

16. I find that I can blame my parents for some of my shortcomings as an adult.
My parents never really made me stick to anything. I tried gymnastics, but I quit. Tee-ball, but I got tired of playing with the boys (and I broke my ankle doing so). I got a keyboard for Christmas one year and quit when I found out I wasn't a natural virtuoso and struggled to learn to read music (I still can't). If my parents had made me stick to these things as a child... finish a season, or go through the motions of lessons, maybe I would have an easier time sticking to a gym routine. I find it's all too easy to say "Nah, I don't feel like going to the gym today." ... Because I don't feel like going to the gym EVER. I hate it. I hate getting sweaty and yucky, and I'm self conscious I'm going to be so smelly the stick figure on the treadmill next to me will smell me and gag and then everyone at the gym will point and laugh and make fun of the smelly fat girl (my imagination is pretty intense). But I force myself to go, when I can. March being the exception when life just got away from me... I am sticking to a routine this month and beyond if it has to kill me to do so.

17. I can also blame my parents for all of the wonderful things about me.
My parents were by no means the best parents ever. An alcoholic father, an unfaithful pill-addict mother, I wasn't exactly their focus in life. That being said, my father and mother both did the very best they could with what they had to give. It made me who I am. I learned how to be resourceful. I learned that I can do things on my own (many young adults don't go to movies by themselves or go exploring in new cities alone.... I do!) I watched how hard my parents did work to keep us kids happy and healthy and learned that my own happiness can and sometimes should come second to the happiness of my family in whole. Even the years we didn't have extra money, we still managed to have a family vacation in the summer and my parents sacrificed a lot to make it happen. I do that today. I will make little sacrifices and changes to keep my fur-kids in good health, or to make my husband happy, or to do something for someone else I love; sometimes it's at the inconvenience of me, sometimes I do it happily. My older brother was also a huge influence, and I can see it that he's grown up to be a wonderful person just like my father is. My older brother deserves so much more than he gives himself credit for, and I think sometimes he is afraid to shine in all areas in his life (because there are some areas he will flaunt those like a peacock!)

18. The older I get, the more afraid I become of dying.
It sounds silly. But the other day in the shower I nearly gave myself a panic attack because I thought about the future, and how some day I'm going to die. It's not so much the dying part that has me freaked.... It's the uncertainty about how and when and why I will die that has me afraid. The odds are not in my favor... I have a family history that's 10' long and full of nasty cancers and disease; I don't know if breast cancer will claim me or if I will have a stroke or if I will get hit by a car or die in a plane crash, and that scares the bejeezus out of me. It could be next week for all I know. And then my schooling will have been all for nothing. You see what I mean about it being so scary? I try not to think about it, of course.... I don't have control on the whats/wheres/whens/whys of life... I just have to make the best today I can and hope when I get to the Pearly Gates (whenever that is), that I get let on through.

To be continued yet again..... :)

1 comment:

  1. So glad to see this!

    I miss you...I miss our chats...I miss it all! I have been clearly lacking myself and despite our chats, have yet to find my own groove and motivation. EVERY DAMN DAY I tell myself it will be a good day, forget half way through and the next thing you know, I have had junk and say I will start again. It's a vicious cycle I can't get out of.

    I look at my mother, who is so very sick and wants nothing more than to be well. Here I am, healthy, aside from the weight aspect, and I am piddling it away on ice cream and chips. It would seem like I have had a lightbulb moment or something, but no, I tell myself this AS I eat the chips, etc.

    I'm not a failure, but I sure feel like it. I I NEED to make April awesome, instead of pitiful like usual!

    We can do this! Let's support each other...can we make a plan to touch base each day with a note to remind the other to get off their ass and do something?