Thursday, January 17, 2013

Just some notes that have been rolling around in my head..

Okay, well, here it goes:

-Got a new laptop, thanks to my AWESOME husband. It has Windows 8 and so I'm not too familiar with it yet, but as time goes on I will learn more. I have been doing things without knowing (like zooming in a page without knowing how I did it or how to undo it!) and little by little I will get this under control.

I have some commentary I'd like to get out there. But first, I want to preemptively apologize to the person who inspired this commentary, as she is not being targeted per say, I just don't want her to take this as a personal attack, seeing as how I include some text about kids in there. But I don't have kids. Not that I'm even eventually planning on them. We all know how I feel about kids:

Yup. Pretty much That. ---^

Anyway, to begin. (Sorry ahead of time, you know who you are!)

Why am I fat?
There are a plethora of reasons. But mostly, I just didn't eat right, exercise enough, and take care of myself. End of story. No one else to blame.
I started getting heavy in middle school, right about when my parents had separated and were in the process of a divorce. I ate all the junk food, didn't go outside and play (not that I had many friends to play with anyway...), and instead binged of junk food and read books. Yup, that was me.

Anyway, now here I am. 26 and weighing in at around 210lbs. That's fat. That might even be considered obese, although I am afraid to go and check. Don't make me.

Anyway, I'm taking steps to improve this. I'm starting to eat right, exercise, and really take care of myself. But what if I didn't? What if I decided to continue on my way, and just eat whatever, sat on my ass, and cried into my ice cream?

-risks of plenty of overweight-related disease would continue to climb as I got older and put on more weight
-my self-esteem would continue to dwindle and eventually disappear, which could lead to depression and possibly suicide, or at least an attempt
-my husband and I would suffer in our relationship; I just know this for a fact. Not all relationships would though, it just depends on the individuals.

So anyway, here's my arguments for myself. I'm including the arguments as if I had children, because I was once a child with a mother who actually had an eating disorder. Can I call it that if all she did was smoke cigarettes, drink coffee, and pop pills? Whatever.

Dear Jules,
Why? Why are you doing this to yourself? Get off that couch! Turn off the TV, the computer, your Kindle, and GO OUTSIDE! If not for yourself, do it for the kids! What are they seeing? What are they eating? They're eating the same thing as you, and although as kids their metabolism is still strong and fast, it will slow down! And then what? You'll have overweight kids too. They eat what you eat. They will become you. Do you like the you that you are now? No? Then change! No more excuse! Dump that ice cream! Put away those chips! Go hit the trails for at least 30min a day! What do you have to lose? Besides years off your life if you continue down this road.

In this Contemporary Social Issues class I'm taking, it's hard not to look at myself and compare myself with my classmates. I think I might actually be the heaviest woman in class. And that hurts. Why can't I be a supermodel? If I had a time machine, I would go back in time to when I was 13 and slap those bowls of ice cream out of my hands and kick my ass out of that door. But I don't have a magical time machine. I have to work hard, and slowly, to undo the damage. But I will thank myself. And hey, if I ever have kids, I might be thankful I've made the changes now. There's nothing more that I would want than an Olympic Athlete for a child. I don't even care if it's in a stupid sport like the Shotput!

End rant. I'm going to bed.

1 comment:

  1. Well said Julie. I do need to make sure my kids don't repeat my lifestyle. I nee to do for them what my parents didn't do for me.

    You are a great friend :-)